The most important ... never let it go! CHAPTER 8

Finally it's done! The English translation! Sorry for the long wait .. I wrote so much .. and this time translating was really TAIHEN!

It's the last chapter ... but ... I'm working on an epilogue. So expect another chapter (hopefully soon ^^;;)

A big fat DOUMO ARIGATOU! to my English beta-reader! You are such a darling! ♥ Really helps me ALOT!!! Thank you! m(_ _)m

Jaa now .. hope you'll like that not-really-last-chapter ^.~ As always comments are LOVE ♥

CHAPTER 8

„Satoshi!" suddenly a voice echoed through the room like it came out of nowhere and although Ohno was only a few meters away from his goal now, he stopped reflexively. Why he did that he couldn't really explain himself. The name Satoshi wasn't familiar to him and he also didn't know whom that voice belonged to.

But why did his heart begin to suddenly beat so strongly? No, he wasn't allowed to get distracted, he had to go to the gate which could give him light, warmth and possibly his freedom. But with every step he made towards his goal, a pain went through his heart. A pain that made him feel like he might regret something if he didn't turn around again.

And although he still had the wish to escape that darkness as soon as possible, he slowly turned around towards the direction from where the mysterious voice had come from. First he couldn't make out anything except the darkness. But then, bit by bit, something began to take shape from the same distance as the gate which was now at his back.

Ohno could see the outlines of a person then it became clearer until he was looking into the face of a man. 

Ohno sized him up slowly and thoroughly. That stranger was a bit taller than him, had dark brown hair, full lips, beautiful dark eyes; their age also shouldn't differ too much. Riida's gaze stuck on his eyes which strangely cast a spell over him. He got the feeling that he had looked into the same pair of eyes once already, but could that really be? He tried to remember again, but it was still pointless. 

He noticed now that the stranger slowly raised his right hand and held it out to him. With a warm, friendly and shining smile on his face he raised his voice once again: "I need you… Satoshi!" Ohno didn't know why but hearing the sound of that voice made his heart suddenly skipped a beat. Also he now had a lump in his throat and he felt that his eyes got teary for some unknown reason. 

Why had those words such a big effect on him? Why was he suddenly wary about going through that gate after hearing such sentences? What should he do now? His mind told him that he should turn around and go towards the light cause there was a peaceful place waiting for him, but his heart told him that he should forget about that place and that he should grab the hand of the person in front of him instead. His thoughts went crazy, was totally confused. Ohno knew he had to make a decision and so he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Alone into the light or together into the darkness?" Once again he took a deep breath and when he finally opened up his eyes again, his decision was clear!

Slowly he turned around his head towards the light, a slight smile on his lips.

"I'm really grateful but why should I stay in a bright place all by myself when there is someone here who seems to care for me? You can also drive away the darkness when you have someone at your side!"

As soon as those words came over his lips he turned around and rushed over to the stranger. Once again Ohno looked up to him before his gaze fell on the stranger's hand. He now also raised his but then he hesitated once again; was this really the right decision? But there was no way back now! Not wasting any more thoughts he finally grabbed the stranger's hand which was still held out towards him.

As soon as they touched each other Ohno felt like thunderstruck. Everything suddenly was so clear in front of him, everything had come back to him; all his memories, as if they never had been gone. Warmth flushed trough him and once again he raised his gaze to look into the face of the man opposite him.

When his eyes had fixated on the man, his feelings got out of control. Tears ran over his cheeks and his whole body began to shiver. But all this didn't happen because of sadness but rather because of gladness that he had made the right decision. Because in front of him was the man that meant so much to him, the man that he didn't want to miss in his life.

Sakurai Sho.

Ohno saw that a warm smile spread over Sho's lips now, but then a blinding white light embraced them suddenly and Ohno lost "consciousness".

Looking like a picture of misery Sho sat on the cold floor of the small room and couldn't believe what just had happened. He barely felt the nurse's hand which she carefully placed on his shoulder and how she kneeled down to him.

"I'm sorry…" she just wanted to begin when suddenly a loud beep echoed through the room. This wasn't the only one, a second and third followed. Sho forced himself to look up while his tears still continued to run over his cheeks. His gaze wandered through the room searching for the source of that sound when it finally stuck on the small monitor besides Ohno’s bed. The line that had been completely horizontal up to now had changed into curves again. Up and down it went with every beep that sounded through the room. "What.. how… why…?" those words came shivering out of Sho's lips. He couldn't believe what he was seeing right now. Did his eyes and his ears play a prank on him? Did he become completely insane now?

Puzzled, he looked over to the doctor who, also slightly puzzled, turned towards the patient again. For a short moment there was a strange tension flying through the small room; all eyes were fixated on the man wearing a white cloak. With a trained look he checked Ohno and the machines, did some handholds and finally put away the patient chart. "We… have him back!"

Sho heard those words, but he just couldn't grab them at first. When he turned his gaze towards the unconscious Ohno again, he was able to form a few words although they only came over his lips faintly.

"Ohno.. he .. he is.. not…?" he continued to look straight on his leader without winking once.

While the doctor sorted his stuff the nurse placed his hands softly on Sho's shoulders. A friendly and warm smile could be seen on her lips.

"Don't worry, he is fine again. Your friend has found his way back again. He really is a strong person who surely doesn't want to leave you alone. So please do not worry."

As soon as she had said those words Sho suddenly embraced her and gave her a squeeze. Tears were running over his cheeks again but after all he had gone through those were the most pleasant tears during this night.

He went through hell; just a few seconds ago he had still thought that he had lost the most important person in his life, without being able to tell him what he really felt. After Ohno's last heartbeat his heart had also felt like dead. But a miracle had happened and the loud beep which still echoed through the room was proof enough.

"Oh thank god! Yokatta! He is.. with us again! He has .. not.. left me! He is … alive!" His voice shook, his eyes were red because of the many many tears that he had shed within this whole day, his heart was beating like hell in his breast and his arms embraced the young woman tighter, who was now tapping his back softly and nodded in assurance again and again.

When Sho's tears had dried and he slowly let go of the young woman, the doctor had already left the room. With his left hand he wiped away the last few tears from his face and took a deep breath after that.

"Everything ok again?" he heard the worried voice of the nurse and he slightly nodded.

"Yes, thank you very much and I'm sorry that I…" the woman shook her head softly. "No no, it's ok. The main thing is that you are feeling better again! I will go back to my station again. If I can do something for you…" Sho considered a bit and he thought suddenly struck him.

„Ah yes, could you please bring me my stuff? It's still in the room in which I had been for a short while. Is that possible?" He got a warm smile and short nod as reply.

„Of course. And if something else should come up, please come and call me. Ah and please tell us immediately when your friend wakes up, ok?"

After Sho had promised to do so and the nurse had left the room Arashi's rapper finally stood up from the floor with shaky legs. 

The shock of the events still stuck in his limbs. Carefully he took one step after the other, in total concentration so that his knees wouldn't give in. He was relieved when he finally stood at Ohno's side and could sit down on the chair which was still right there.

His hands trembled when he softly stroke away some strands of Riida’s hair from forehead.

Gently he let his hand move along Ohno’s face and let it rest on his cheek.

"That surely was an awful night, right? I will be so delighted when it is finally morning and you can look at me again with your bright eyes." His right hand continued to stroke the cheek of the older one while his left grabbed Ohno’s hand and squeezed it a little.

A soft smile appeared on his lips. Only a few hours were left till sunrise. If Ohno was able to survive those then Sho could finally be sure that his Riida would come back to him again.

Softly Ohno Satoshi perceived the sound of a steady beep when he slowly regained consciousness again. His eyelids felt really heavy and only with great effort he was able to open them a little bit and was now looking with a blurry gaze upon a white ceiling that was not familiar to him. Where was he and what had happened?

It was hard for him to think as an unbelievable tiredness was clinging tightly to him. He wanted to stroke over his eyes with his hand but because of the medication that he had been dosed with, he was too weak to move. Startled and slightly getting in panic that he had no control over his body he looked upon himself. Just now he noticed the respiratory mask that was placed upon his mouth and stared down on his bandaged right hand and the tubes that were connected to his body. 

A short stitch went through his head when memory fragments played in front of his inner eye: how he walked along a street, nervous about the upcoming task, how Sho was kissing a woman, how he turned around, how Sho followed him, the red light of a traffic light and blinding headlights of a car.

Right, he was rushing over there to protect Sho from the car that turned around the corner. So it was him that got caught.. but wait: SHO! His eyes widened out of horror! What had happened with Sho? Had he been able to protect him? Where was he? If only Ohno was able to, he would have jumped up turned everything upside down just to get to know how Sho was. But his thoughts were abruptly interrupted when he suddenly felt a slight squeeze on his left hand.    

It was difficult for him to turn his head to the side but at last he was able to and was now looking down on his hand which was held by another. Ohno was surprised cause he hadn't noticed at all that someone else had been in this room and was even holding onto his hand.

But still he couldn't recognize who this person was. It wasn't of much help to lift his head a little bit because the only thing that he could now see was a dark shock of hair which rested on the bed.

Arashi's leader got curious now. He wanted to know who that person was that sat beside his bed all night long and held onto his hand. Ohno closed his eyes and began to concentrate. His eyebrows contracted intensely when he tried to concentrate his remained strength into his left hand. He noticed how he lifted his index finger a little bit. But when it moved down again he wasn't able to apply pressure. His index finger was only tapping slightly onto the skin of the other one. 

Out of frustration he sighed softly; like this he would never be able to attract attention.

But Ohno was wrong. A short time later he noticed how the shock of hair slowly began to move and a short sleepy grunt could be heard.

The head slowly moved further upwards and when finally a familiar pair of eyes was looking at him tiredly Ohno's breath got caught away for a short while. That person beside his bed was no less than Sakurai Sho. The person that he had expected the least but who brought out the most happiness within him.

For a few seconds the two of them just looked at each other in silence but then a bright smile slowly spread upon Sho's lips.

"Ohayou Satoshi!" the eyes of the younger one flashed at him during this greeting. Ohno didn't know what hit him; he only could stare at the one opposite him and nod slightly. 

He noticed how the other let go of his hand and saw how Sho was stretching himself tiredly, let out a yawn and suddenly paused. For a few seconds it was like Arashi's rapper turned to stone.

Then his gaze shot back towards the older one.

"You… you are awake!" stunned his voice echoed through the room. It took awhile till Sho finally grasped the situation.

"Oh god, you are awake Satoshi! You really are awake!" thereupon Sho's face lighted up as much as Ohno had never seen it before. 

He could see pure happiness, gladness, so much more in the face of the other, but Riida still couldn't really grasp what was going on just now. When Sho still radiant with joy bent down to him and began to softly stroke through his hair Ohno got totally confused. His heart began to beat wildly, felt how his cheeks reddened and how his eyes got teary. He liked what was just happening, that was a sure thing, but he was afraid. Afraid that all this was only a dream, not real, that his mind only played a trick on him.

He wished that this moment would last forever; Sho's hand in his hair was so warm and soft. But he wasn't allowed to lose himself in that touch! Carefully Ohno opened his mouth to say something but he just couldn't find his voice and Sho also shook his head and let a soft "Pssst" come over his lips. The rapper had now surely noticed the insecurity of him because his gaze became really soft now and he stopped the stroking through his hair. 

Instead he sat down beside the bed again and took the hand of the older one in his.

"You don't have to say anything. Save your strength so that you will recover soon. Besides I'm the one that should tell you something." His thumb stroke gently over Ohno's hand and he looked deeply in the older ones eyes.

"I'm sorry Satoshi! All this… was my fault!" His voice was soft, but Ohno also recognized sadness.

"Only because of me all this had happened. I had no clue and was blind. Blind about my feelings and… yours." While he continued to stroke Ohno's hand, his right hand went up to his neck and pulled out the necklace of the older one.

Riida’s eyes widened when he recognized the item. What was going on? His head began to hurt because of all the things that just went down upon him.

"Satoshi or Sho, right?" continued the younger one and let the necklace rest openly upon his shirt now before he grabbed something that was lying on the rack behind him.

"Like this here also." While he was saying that, he held up the closed notebook of Ohno in front of him. In this moment Arashi's leader felt like the time had stopped for a short while. Sho knew it! His deepest secret was disclosed! Sho who was the person that meant the most to him, knew about his real feelings. Panic rose within him. What was now about to happen? How should it go on between both of them? Will this destroy their friendship? Maybe even Arashi? What was Sho thinking about him now? Surely he despised him now! Now everything was over; while such thoughts ran through his head Sho continued to speak: "I'm really sorry that I didn't notice anything during all this time. That you had to endure all this just because of me. But I can promise you something!" While he was saying that he began to flip through the small notebook until he had found a specific page. "From now on you won't have to be alone anymore. I will always be at your side! Because…" Slowly he began to turn the notebook in his hand until the opened page faced Ohno. On one page there was the latest drawing that the older one had made but then Riida recognized something on the opposite; something that he hadn't drawn there: 

Scribble

Speechless he stared at the paper. That couldn't be true! That surely was… but when he looked up into the face of the younger one that smiled at him lovingly and when he heard him say "Aishiteru yo!" softly Ohno felt like a huge burden had been taken away from his heart. Immediately tears stared to run over his cheeks and a bitter sobs echoed through the room. Everything he had hoped for the whole time had come true in this instant. All the time he had hoped that Sho could stay at his side but he never had expected that this wish really would come true. He had thought that he would always only be Sho's leader, but now… 

One tear after the other ran over the cheeks of the older one. Sho put down the notebook, shifted the chair nearer to the bed and began to gently stroke away the tears from Ohno's face.

"Ssh shh everything is alright Satoshi! I'm here now!" said the rapper softly while his fingers continued to gently stroke over the other’s face.

After some time the tears got fewer and only a soft sniff could be heard. Sho bent slowly down to Ohno and placed a sweet kiss on his forehead. While the older one blinked a few times, a bright and shining smile appeared on his lips.

"Now everything is ok, right?" Arashi's leader was now also able to let a light smile appear on his face.

But then he suddenly noticed that Sho slowly let up on him and stood up from the chair. Automatically Ohno's left hand shot up and grabbed the shirt of the younger one. With a strong grip he held the fabric in his hand to prevent other one from leaving him alone in this room.

Fear began to run through his body, fear that the darkness in which he had been, before he woke up in this room, could catch him and get lost in it again.

"Don't worry, I'll be right back! I'll only tell the doctors that you have woken up and then I’d be right back at your side again! I promised you, right? That I won't leave you alone anymore!" Another bright smile appeared on Sho's face and when the older one saw this he was sure that there was no need anymore to fear anything. No matter what happened now Sho would always be at his side! Sho, the person whom he loved and who loved him in return! Ohno loosened his grip a little bit and allowed the younger one to depart slowly.

Immediately after Sho had let up on him Arashi's leader felt that infinite tiredness again which had hogged his body before. 

But he constrained himself to continue to turn his gaze upon as Sho, whose back was now facing him, slowly opened the door behind which he vanished a moment later. 

But apparently this was the exact moment the gnawing tiredness had waited for. As soon as Ohno was alone in the room his eyelids began to get heavier in the blink of an eye. Everything around him seemed to blur and to fade. The sound of the machines that had filled the small room until now got more muffled and silent. The strength in his arms that he had just felt when he tried to stop Sho from going away left him. Ohno tried to fight against it. He had to win against the approaching darkness! He wasn't allowed to lose because he wanted to look into the shining face of Sho again from the bottom of his heart.

But after a few seconds the fight had already been decided. Arashi's leader couldn't find the strength anymore to let his eyes open. All the thoughts that had been in his mind just now faded away. The last thing that flared up in his mind was Sho smling at him.

Like a veil, darkness and silence now began to lie over him. 

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Well you surely noticed .. this is an open ending! Yes yes .. so there really HAS to be an epilogue! So that minna gets to know what happened to Ohno ... if he only fell asleep or maybe really didn't survive? You have to find out ne... in the epilogue ^.~

But I still have something for you .. a little present because you always had to wait so long.. and that is a teaser! I made a little teaser which shows what will happen in the beginning of the epilogue... it's Sho POV btw.

About the video I have to say that I got inspired by Yayas Ohchan birthday fanvid she once made. I really really love that fanvid of hers so that I had to do my own version and so this is it! If you know her fanvid then you surely already know some scenes cause I also used some she used in her vid. But still .. our vids differ ne ^.~

So here is the link for the teaser for download:

http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?yoyynn2wl3i

Or you can also watch it here (neighborhood only sorry), but the quality is not that good: